


nobody here to tell me who i am

by clippymagnet (LilDoodleCat)



Series: abyss gets even more angst [9]
Category: Tales of the Abyss
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Confusion, Gen, Introspection, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-12 21:34:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28517229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilDoodleCat/pseuds/clippymagnet
Summary: Luke, or Asch, perhaps it's both of them, returns to Tataroo Valley and tries to figure out what he's doing there. He thinks he's made a promise, but there's never anyone there.
Series: abyss gets even more angst [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1988653
Kudos: 5





	nobody here to tell me who i am

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Fullmetalpika](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fullmetalpika/gifts).



> Some post-game alternate epilogue kinda thing.

Luke remembered Christmas. His birthday was right around the same time. Or rather, Asch's birthday was right around that time, and he was masquerading as the real Luke without his knowledge. This time of year used to excite him. Baticul might get a bit of snow, and he would receive multitudes of gifts for both the holiday and his birthday. How fun it was, to rip open parcels for a shiny new possession.

Now it's just cold. It's winter, and the chill in the air is expected, even if he's not really sure where he is. Or who he is, for that matter. He doesn't feel like himself, not just Luke the replica, and at the same time he feels perfectly at home. He's Luke.

Or at least he thinks he is.

Tataroo valley is beautiful under the moonlight and glittering stars reflecting off the ocean and lighting the flowering field.

But there's no one here. It's just him, staring out at cold emptiness and hearing only crashing waves and rustling brush.

He made a promise to someone, he's sure, but there's no one here. There never is, when he comes. Actually, who did he promise? What did he promise? When...?

The chill creeps up his fingers, numbing. The tip of his nose twinges with what might be frostbite.

How long has it been since he first started coming here? Where are these people he promised something so visceral, so heavy that he feels drawn even when he tries to leave? Is Luke who he thinks he is?

Perhaps he is no one at all. There is no one else here to prove that he exists and that the promise that lies heavy yet forgotten on his tongue and tugs at the fraying corners of his mind is real. Is so important that he would still be—that he is still here.

His sword—is it really his sword? It rests heavy at the back of his waist. He draws it now, looking over the oddly shaped blade with sharp contemplation. It's familiar, digging at memories both warm and burning, sharp with stinging tears he feels even now.

Oh. Of course he feels them. They're here now, streaming down his cheeks in uncontrolled rivulets that leave his already chilled skin frigid. They dribble down off his chin and pitter on the ground, some catching in the fabric of his coat. More gather on the cuffs of his sleeve as he reaches up to quell the burst dam. He can't... It won't stop. He doesn't even know what exactly is making him feel this way, or what provokes the sob catching in his throat.

What happened to him? Who the hell is he waiting for and _where are they_? Why does the heavy sword he wears make him feel like he's dying, like somebody he cares too deeply for is dying and he can't do a thing to stop it? He can't... damn it.

The night does not answer him, it's even serene. Puffs of snowflakes drift in lazing circles around him, settling on his shoulders and in long red hair that makes him itch for... for something.

It's colder still, when clouds hide the moon and he can barely see the snow that lands like tiny needles on his skin. Luke—he—whoever he is. He's cold. 

So, so cold.

**Author's Note:**

> This didn't go in the direction I had for it originally but oh well, it happens.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!
> 
> [tumblr](https://lildoodlecat.tumblr.com/) | [twitter](https://twitter.com/LilDoodleCat/)


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